urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:knifexurxthroat Your idols fade away These sheets tell of regret 2006-03-16T02:09:38Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:knifexurxthroat:10526 2006-03-16T02:03:49Z 2006-03-16T02:09:38Z The irritation we're pretending not to show<br />Has replaced the motivation<br />That I had not long ago<br />I know that<br />It's the beginning of the end<br />And I don't know where we lost control<br />It's the beginning of the end<br />And I know that I am all alone<br />Interrogation has replaced the trust we had<br />Your misguided accusations<br />Helping me to turn my back<br />I know that<br />I thought that we would find our way<br />I thought our life would be ok<br />I thought that you believed in me<br />But now it seems so far away<br />The life we knew before is gone <br />There is no compromising<br />The life you save will be your own<br />To find your inner senses<br /><br /><a name="cutid1"></a><br /><a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v114/Biancasdprsn/InHope.jpg" border="0" alt="Image hosting by Photobucket"></a><br /><a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v114/Biancasdprsn/ITrust.jpg" border="0" alt="Image hosting by Photobucket"></a><br />My New Tattoo. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:knifexurxthroat:10274 2006-03-16T02:02:58Z 2006-03-16T02:02:58Z The irritation we're pretending not to show<br />Has replaced the motivation<br />That I had not long ago<br />I know that<br />It's the beginning of the end<br />And I don't know where we lost control<br />It's the beginning of the end<br />And I know that I am all alone<br />Interrogation has replaced the trust we had<br />Your misguided accusations<br />Helping me to turn my back<br />I know that<br />I thought that we would find our way<br />I thought our life would be ok<br />I thought that you believed in me<br />But now it seems so far away<br /><a name="cutid1"></a><br /><a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v114/Biancasdprsn/InHope.jpg" border="0" alt="Image hosting by Photobucket"></a><br /><a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v114/Biancasdprsn/ITrust.jpg" border="0" alt="Image hosting by Photobucket"></a><br />My New Tattoo. <br />There is no compromising<br />The life you save will be your own<br />To find your inner senses urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:knifexurxthroat:9891 2006-02-13T19:35:15Z 2006-02-13T19:35:15Z im so sick of spending my time at home. and i have no where else to go because i dont have any friends. life used to be so good. what happened. life is still good. but im still alone in every sense of the fact. i look into things wayyyyy too much and then when things dont go how i expect i get all sad and gay. and tomorrows valentines day prolly the gayest day of the year. its shouldnt even be a holiday the tradition should be all couples should be burned alive at the stake. <br /><br /><br />AHHH i dont know i just want someone to tell me what i want. i want it to already be there before i get there waiting and i want it now. i need someone to tell me what i need. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:knifexurxthroat:9624 2006-01-23T05:36:35Z 2006-01-23T05:36:35Z i dont even know what to say. i am so pissed off.<br />i am seriously shaking. i have never once in my life been this mad. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:knifexurxthroat:9366 2006-01-16T18:35:07Z 2006-01-16T18:35:07Z so its the end of vacation and i go back to school wednesday. and i really dont want to. im going to be more serious about this though. im not gunna not care either.<br />im starting to breakdown in this house. i cant stay here. everybody hates me and i pretty much dont give a shit but they always like... attack me. <br />i dont know why i cant stop yelling at them and why they wont leave me alone. and i try really hard not to cry when im that pissed off because it means they won but sometimes i just get so mad.<br />my mom said she wants to sell the car now because i said it was a sucky car when actually, <i>it is. </i> it shuts off when im driving randomly and last night at fucking 4 in the morning the car door wouldnt shut. <br />so my mom told me to go pick up some bus passes. and now andis yelling at me because apparently all i fucking do is complain about the car. and its <b> my </b> fault that my mom wants to sell it. <br /><br />i just want this whole phase thing of stupid bitches being stupid to end. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:knifexurxthroat:9195 2006-01-03T04:34:50Z 2006-01-03T04:34:50Z new years was good and its been good ever since. yeah. i got an ill compliment today.... i was told that my body is ten times better than ms. paris hilton herself. i beg to differ but whatever.<br /><br />i dyed my hair bleach blonde with this black in the front. its ill. <br /><br />i bet my thug 2 remix today at work. thank god. i was starting to get mad. <br />tomorrow i work with dink and then wednesday with margarit. <br />:) yayayayayyaya urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:knifexurxthroat:8850 2005-12-15T22:55:46Z 2005-12-15T22:55:46Z will just called from alabama i miss him he comes home tomorrow. i havent seen him since high school.<br /><br /><br /><br />sooo i got a psp and its prolly the best thing thats every happened to me besides hemrroids urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:knifexurxthroat:8517 2005-12-14T18:53:58Z 2005-12-14T18:53:58Z i surprising did well on my math final and i passed. one more class to go. <br /><br /><br />i think im in need of a celebration. ugggh does anyone believe in the ouija board?<br /><br />im definately eating fast food like every day of my life and i think it should stop... but its sooo good... its like a drug... but it doesnt beat candy.<br /><br />i love candy. someone should buy me some candy. good kinda like the penny candy mmmmm urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:knifexurxthroat:8277 2005-12-13T16:43:34Z 2005-12-13T16:43:34Z i definately want to go out to breakfast right now. uhm yesterday at work was the worst, i was with bimi and he just creeped me out a little too much for my liking. <br /><br />i know i cant find another job but i have to tell dale ill quit if i dont get more hours because this is just getting out of hand. <br /><br />psychology is over for the rest of the semister thank god. i just hope i passed. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:knifexurxthroat:8157 2005-12-11T01:12:04Z 2005-12-11T01:12:04Z some people should just break up with their girlfriend immediately.<br /><br /><br /><br />and go out with me instead :c) because im better than her, duh. <br />no but seriously, <b>this whole crush thing is cute</b> but something else needs to happen. <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><s>sometimes</s> i just want to grab his face and kiss him and see what happens. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:knifexurxthroat:7702 2005-12-06T05:23:18Z 2005-12-06T05:23:18Z nothings changed. im bored and my back hurts. a lot actually. work sucked again as usual. tomorow i have no school and no work. this hasnt happened in a month. i am so excited. randomly i had a dream about ryan last night it was mad weird. <s>sometimes</s> i just want to call him. but i cant. and i wont. i guess maybe i just want to know if he ever thinks of me. i dont care, i miss him. the silverstein show was alright. it was disgustingly packed in there. ew. christmas is almost here. taste of chaos this year seems to be like a good show. im planning on going because i didnt go last year...and i COULDNT go to sounds of the underground and then that bullshit happened with hellfest. i like a boy who likes me but has a girlfriend. i like a girl who likes me but has a girlfriend. anyways once again, life is moving way too fast. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:knifexurxthroat:7448 2005-11-07T21:11:51Z 2005-11-07T21:11:51Z so it trurns out that my week isnt going to be as good as i thought it would be. my auntie ann died last night. she just turned 90. she had a stroke and that was that. it reminded me of russ. i miss him so much. <br /><br />it breaks my heart to know that ill never see him again. ever.<br /><br />so all auntie anns stuff is spreaded through the week and the worst part is sunday is russ' birthday so were going out to eat and going to visit his grave. <br /><br /><br /><br /><br />tonights the as i lay dying, unearth and sliknot concert. hopefully ill have a good time. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:knifexurxthroat:7328 2005-11-03T05:06:12Z 2005-11-03T05:06:12Z she made me promise not to forget about our plans today. <br />and i didnt forget. <br />my schedule was clear for just me and her.<br />ive only been wating 6 and a half hours....<br />she could still come<br />right? urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:knifexurxthroat:7094 2005-10-30T18:25:56Z 2005-10-30T18:25:56Z i feel... lonely more than ever. and i dont know why. its really a not nice feeling. is it bad that i sitll think about him? i dont know i try to think about other people and i do but its the worst to know that all itll ever be is what i think in my head. <br /><br />i really like this kid but itll never work and i know that. but i dont know if im okay with that. <br />i dont knoooooooooooow. i dont know what to think or what to feel anymore. <br /><br /><br /><br /><b>look at my face shaded in gray wasting away I'm almost gone</b> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:knifexurxthroat:6663 2005-10-28T02:02:27Z 2005-10-28T02:02:27Z <center><br /><a name="cutid1"></a> <br /><br /><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v114/Biancasdprsn/crazy.jpg" alt="Image hosted by Photobucket.com"><br /><br />Oh, this is the start of something good<br />Don't you agree?<br />I haven't felt like this in so many moons<br />You know what I mean?<br />And we can build through this destruction<br />As we are standing on our feet<br />So, since you want to be with me<br />You'll have to follow through<br />With every word you say<br />And I, all I really want is you<br />You to stick around<br />I'll see you everyday<br />But you have to follow through<br />You have to follow through<br /><br /><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v114/Biancasdprsn/ah.jpg" alt="Image hosted by Photobucket.com"><br /><br />These reeling emotions they just keep me alive<br />They keep me in tune<br />Oh, look what I'm holding here in my fire<br />This is for you<br />Am I too obvious to preach it?<br />You're so hypnotic on my heart<br />So, since you want to be with me<br />You'll have to follow through <br />With every word you say<br /><br /><br /><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v114/Biancasdprsn/stoge.jpg" alt="Image hosted by Photobucket.com"><br /><br />And I, all I really want is you<br />You to stick around <br />I'll see you everyday<br />But you have to follow through<br />You have to follow through<br />The words you say to me are unlike anything<br />That's ever been said<br />And what you do to me is unlike anything <br />That's ever been<br />Am I too obvious to preach it?<br />You're so hypnotic on my heart<br />So, since you want to be with me<br /><br /><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v114/Biancasdprsn/bathroom.jpg" alt="Image hosted by Photobucket.com"><br /><br />You'll have to follow through<br />With every word you say<br />And I, all I really want is you<br />(For) you to stick around<br />I'll see you everyday<br />But you'll have to follow through<br />With every word you say<br />An I, all I really want is you (For) you to stick around<br />I'll see everyday<br />But you have to follow through<br />You have to follow through<br />You're gonna have to follow<br />Oh, this is the start of something good<br />Don't you agree?<br /><br /><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v114/Biancasdprsn/joint.jpg" alt="Image hosted by Photobucket.com"><br /><br /></center> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:knifexurxthroat:6414 2005-10-23T17:47:55Z 2005-10-23T17:47:55Z This weekend sucked.<br /><br />Friday<br /><br />- got a really bad grade on a paper i thought i did good on and was suggested to withdraw. <br />- got lost in providence trying to find abbington. jasmine drove and wasted all my gas and we ended up going home.<br />+ smoked 3 blunts.<br /><br />Saturday<br /><br />- couldnt go to the orchards because of i had to work. changed to sunday. <br />- worked 9am-5:30pm<br />- me and lauren were susposed to go to the strip joint. we didnt go because she wanted to drink witb bob and ralph instead.<br /><br />Sunday<br /><br />+ woke up to erika talking on the phone in the hallway. <br />- were not going to the orchards.<br />+ smoked a blunt at 11:30<br />- going to work 3-11 urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:knifexurxthroat:6209 2005-10-15T16:38:04Z 2005-10-15T17:59:23Z Me summer and lauren went to fridays last night. told em it was my birthday and i had to stand up in the restaurant and got sang to and such. and i got free ice cream. and it was the bomb.<br /><br />we made prank phone calls to faggots and my sister who got extreamly upset and it was hilarious. <br />FUCK YOU. WHAT ARE YOU DOING? ARE YOU AT A RAVE WAVING YOUR GAY GLOWSTICKS?<br /><br />went to the store at 4 am in the flood to get candy.<br /><br />i havent stayed up till 5 am in forever. <br /><br />i havent just chilled and did nothing in so long. it felt good. <br /><br />the old days are too ill for words.<br /><br /><br />THANKS GUYS. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:knifexurxthroat:6119 2005-10-12T05:28:30Z 2005-10-12T05:28:30Z i got my lip pierced again... and now its complete... i should have pictures up asap. i suspose i should get sleep.<br /><br />back to school tomorrow :(<br /><br /><br />i heart talking about boys &lt;33333 it makes me happy and giddy. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:knifexurxthroat:5737 2005-10-05T23:53:51Z 2005-10-05T23:53:51Z people are unbelieveable and i hate them all. <br /><br /><br />p.s i want tony hawks american wasteland , thx. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:knifexurxthroat:5551 2005-10-03T17:05:51Z 2005-10-03T17:05:51Z im sick. i have to go to the doctors for 130. i didnt go to school today. and i didnt go friday because i didnt want to. i need to get my shit together asap and stop fucking around. jeeeeeeeeeeeeze. i feel like im dying or something of that sort. tonight = ultimate fight night k, thx. that makes me happy in my pants.<br /><br /><br />i went out to eat with dink before she had class. that was awesome. we looked like jackasses at Fridays, so we left. i couldnt stop laughing. <br />my other tattoo is finally healing and i like it. a lot. it looks good with the other one and with my piercing. i got a new hurrr cut. i like it. hott people are talking to me now and hehehe. i still dont have a significant other however. whatever. off the the doctors. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:knifexurxthroat:5166 2005-09-28T14:57:58Z 2005-09-28T14:57:58Z i got into a car acident on my way home from dinks house this morning :( urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:knifexurxthroat:4920 2005-09-26T22:38:04Z 2005-09-26T22:38:04Z college girl that hates school times forever and a day.<br /><br />i go to school i go to work i eat i shit i sleep. and still, life manages to suck all the time. <br /><br /><br />i need a hug. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:knifexurxthroat:4623 2005-05-24T12:51:56Z 2005-05-24T12:51:56Z im 18. im graduating high school. im signed out of academics and am pretty much done with school.<br /><br />ive been wicked fucking sick for the past like 2 weeks and i dont like it. im pooping and puking all the fucking time and im not even eating. i had to leave the bank today because i got sick on the way there and i didnt go yesterday.<br /><br />my hair is like blueish black.... and i got my chest pierced. it looks so fucking ill i &lt;3 it.<br /><br />doherty prom on thursday and i get to drive the scion there. hopefully ill have a good time. i should. last weekend i went to youth pride in boston with dink and we marched, it was fun and there was this fucking hott chick there with a mohawk.<br /><br />im fucking freezing. i have to go to the doctors at 1045 to see what the fuck is wrong with me. it seriously looks like im fucking pregnant.<br /><br />friday is the last day of high school.... and then im fucking free... im almost all grown up. <br /><br />whoever reads this.... we need to chill over the summer.<br /><br />this summer is going to be ill i can feel it. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:knifexurxthroat:4494 2005-05-05T00:12:42Z 2005-05-05T00:12:42Z lalalalalala..... shits been okay. 17 days left of school...and then college. IF i graduate. <br /><br />anyways this weekend should be fucking ill friday is bobs keg, and i get a free cup :c) saturday im sleeping out in leicester and then sunday is my birthday. hell yeah. 18. theres such a difference between 17 and 18. im not gunna be a kid anymore. i cant picture myself my moms age but time goes by so fast it feels like when i wake up one day im gunna be 40 and all of this is gunna be gone. im scurrrred. <br /><br />i was awesome at my game today, and we won. yes. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:knifexurxthroat:4228 2005-04-27T00:04:12Z 2005-04-27T00:04:12Z my vacation was ill. 420 was fucking awesome. the 21 erika threw me and jenns birthday party, an awesome fucking party. the 22 was metal and hardcore fest, i got another concussion and i &lt;3 mosh pits. then saturday i bought shrooms. <br /><br />2 more weeks of shop and 2 more weeks of academic and im all done. i hope i made it....? <br /><br /><br /><br />:: youre all thats on my mind lately ::